Inevitable

Assalamualaikum

After quite some times I left this blog hanging and here I am writing my thoughts at 12 midnight. Right now even I cannot be sure of what I feel, of what I want. When I think about that certain someone whom I liked during matriculation, there are still some lingering feelings. That is what I thought. Also, there is a time I noticed someone else. And today, that person really attract me.

I noticed him when he helped me during slide experiment. I was struggling to trim the slide and he was besides me nagged and I remember a sentence that came out from him 'Meh la sini aku buatkan untuk kau' just like during matriculation. Someone helped me during I was struggling with something. And when he trimmed the slide for me, I wanted to pick it up but I tore it and he said 'Sia-sia je usaha aku' Whyyyyyy

Then when I saw him, I wasn't smiling like how I always smiled when I see someone that I like. So I told my best friend and she said 'Lol no, you don't like him. It is just some excitement in you when that person helped you.' Okay I said I do not like him. I still like that person from matriculation.

That's what I thought.

After some times, I always wanted to be noticed by him. When I go to classes, I will look for him to know where does he sits, who besides him and more. When I found him, I could control myself but to smile. Just like when I was in matriculation. But I wasn't confirmed at that time yet.

One evening, my friends and I planned to go out to eat something sophisticated. As we were waiting for uber car, I was standing infront of a parked car and after a few minutes, I noticed it is him who was inside the car. I was stunned and speechless. I hid myself behind my friends. And that is where I noticed that I like him. It was unavoidable.

And he was a director for an event at our college. So one day that program's instagram followed me but at that time I wasn't thinking anything so I just followed back what so ever. The event already ended but that instagram still viewed my igstory. Midnight. Maybe people will say I'm just hallucinating or whatever but this is what I want to believe. It is the only thing that can make me feel close to him. I wonder who is the admin of that account. For now I just think that he watched my igstory using that account. People will say that I'm having my hopes high but I just wanted to believe that. And that is my decision.

Popular posts from this blog

Act 1: Feeling Guilty and Excessive Worrying

Warm scent

Unbearable