Showing posts from June, 2017

Act 1: Feeling Guilty and Excessive Worrying

I used to have a fulfilling life with my family and my primary school friends. But when I was in secondary school, matriculation and even now, university I seem to have this some kind of habit or obsessed with feeling guilty for doing things and not doing things. I seem to have excessive worrying about things that even not related to me. Like when my friend suddenly acting odd and became silent, I always felt that it got something to do with me even though it is actually about someone else. Because my friend didn't tell me anything and she became moody suddenly not talking to me and anyone else and I will think that 'Did I said something bad to her? She mad at me?' Even though there is no accurate evidence showing that she mad at me.

In the end, I'm the one who will feeling down and worrying all the time. I will not be able to do any work or to even study. Is that normal? The fact that I have to become very careful with what I say to people, I still can accept that. Th…



After quite some times I left this blog hanging and here I am writing my thoughts at 12 midnight. Right now even I cannot be sure of what I feel, of what I want. When I think about that certain someone whom I liked during matriculation, there are still some lingering feelings. That is what I thought. Also, there is a time I noticed someone else. And today, that person really attract me.

I noticed him when he helped me during slide experiment. I was struggling to trim the slide and he was besides me nagged and I remember a sentence that came out from him 'Meh la sini aku buatkan untuk kau' just like during matriculation. Someone helped me during I was struggling with something. And when he trimmed the slide for me, I wanted to pick it up but I tore it and he said 'Sia-sia je usaha aku' Whyyyyyy

Then when I saw him, I wasn't smiling like how I always smiled when I see someone that I like. So I told my best friend and she said 'Lol no, you don'…