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Showing posts from December, 2016

Thoughtless

Assalamulaikum.

"Sebenarnya pointer kita untuk exam final ni pun Allah dah tentukan. Study ke tak study ke pointer tu jugak yang kau akan dapat. So, tak payah lah study senang cerita. Tapi, kita boleh ubah nasib kita dengan usaha. Dan, kau pernah tak ada kawan yang sekuat mana dia study tapi result dia rendah? Walau kuat mana pun kau study, kau usaha kalau Allah tak nak bagi, tak dapat. Tapi kau kena ingat, Allah suka dengan orang yang berusaha. Sebab tu, walaupun kita tahu result kita untuk final ni dah ditentukan, still kena berusaha untuk lebih baik dan kita kena ubah niat tu, berusaha kerana Allah. Baru Allah bagi."
This make me realized that after all these achievements, I was not still good enough as a muslim. My hard work all this time to get to where I'm standing right now, it was all insincere. Sincerity was not with me. All this time I studied real hard which I thought I did it because of Him was not sincere at all. I studied for high pointer, high marks and of…

Momente

Assalamualaikum and greetings to you.

Final week is coming so I'm in the middle to start my preparations. Why I became so lazy after I registered into university? It's not like university life is easier so I can be so free, no. I don't why but I haven't revised or mastered any topics on Anatomy & Physiology or Biochemistry. Too lazy to handle. I could spend my whole day on my bed, sleeping. Perhaps I'm tired, that's what I thought at first but it couldn't be tired because I haven't done anything much that could make me so tired to sleep all day. Let's just say that I am lazy.

What I feel about last week has improved. Maybe we just knew each other and we still have a lot time to be spent together. This is only the phase where we can knew each other a lot more and knew what kind of a person we are. I hope that we will get to overcome every hardships that we may face together throughout the 4 years we will be together. I was thinking, if we were to…

Mansuetude

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I guess I'm someone who doesn't deserve friends. From primary school until now university, I always have to be concern about friends. Taking care of their feelings, not making them angry or feel disappointed in me. I have to control my action towards them like I can't be me. I'm afraid if I be me, they will hate me because I know how a person I am. When they suddenly talk less, it worries me. I will feel that it got something to do with me. I made them moody. They are not in the mood. They will ignore me. I feel that. And when that happens, I will do something that will lighten up the mood. I buy something for my friend or treat them something. Anything, that will make them feel better. That will make them laugh.

 When I try to start a conversation with them and they responded to me with a single word, I will be afraid. I don't know, is this some kind of traumatism or what. Is this some kind of disorder? Why do I have to feel like this whenever I go? Why I can…